my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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