Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
