operation harelip BJ is a go
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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