I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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