I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
