when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
