No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
