College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
