her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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