You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
