She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
