New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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