I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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