careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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