so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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