i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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