White coat. Heels.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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