Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
