Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
