Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
