i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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