3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
