loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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