Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
