Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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