foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
