I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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