I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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