You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
