as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
