If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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