smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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