What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
