Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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