I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
