just come out here and I will go home with you...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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