During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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