i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
