Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
