I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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