You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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