i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
