cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
