It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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