I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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