Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
