people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
