You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
