Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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