Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
