Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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