Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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