I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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